Last night, I got to Yafyaf’s place late for dinner due to work commitments. The girls had finished their meals (very yummy) and were watching a korean drama series dubbed in Mandarin. I’m not a big fan of drama series cos I don’t have that much time to follow through something for so many hours. I prefer watching movies or short series like Scrubs. Anyway, in the show, there was an old man who was critically ill and doctors and family were worried he wasn’t gonna make it this time. But there was one person he longed to see before he leave: his longlost grand daughter (whom he abandoned or gave away or something I’m not sure, and he felt really guilty and was afraid she has died already). The grandson of this old man promised to find her (his cousin). In the end he brought an acquintance (a girl who is very good at lying) to pretend to be the grand daughter. When he finally saw the “grand daughter” he was so moved and emotional. I felt my heart wrenched to see him so. And he looked like he felt ready to “go”.
It was then I thought of my grandpa. And I know it sounds emo but Mariah Carey’s song “Bye bye” almost truly reflects how I feel about my grandma & grandpa.
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ’cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times
I didn’t get it but you kept me in line
I didn’t know why you didn’t show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I’m glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face
[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
“I wish I could talk to you for awhile”
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it’s true that you’ve reached a better place
Still I’d give the world to see your face
And I’m right here next to you
But it’s like you’re gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye
And you never got the chance to see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You’d make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever
Our saturday beach outing was fantastic… as usual… beach outings are almost always fantastic unless it’s the wrong weather. Which sometimes do happen. Like that time we chose a 20 degree day to go fishing at the beach. I know 20 degrees celcius doesnt sound really cold/warm, but most of the time, Melbourne get southerly winds = cold winds from the Antarctic ocean side. That day I was determined to jump into the water, cos if I don’t, then I can’t really consider myself as having been to the beach. Anyway, the waves were so strong I only tried to swim for 20 seconds and for the next 10 minutes just tried to stay afloat by trapping water. We didn’t catch anything on the hook as expected but it was fun nonetheless. Not fantastic, but good enough.
Soooooo anyway, back to saturday’s beach outing, which was fantastic. Just us girls. Nimnim & Taxi didnt’ bring their bathers so that just stayed on the beach reading & playing Nintendo DS respectively. Yaf, Oj & I spent about 20 minutes waddling about in the clear water and we realised our limbs look really white underwater and pondered on how fun it would be if we had a waterproof camera. It wasn’t long before Nimnim & Taxi had to leave to make it back to the city for their other dinner/party dates. Yafyaf brought an extra book so I read 2 chapters and listened to some music before I fell asleep, under the warm summer rays and cool breeze caressing my skin. I must have dreamt of something… and woke up and made some weird noises that I make when I wake up but don’t want to wake yet. It was so nice laying there on the beach; it wasn’t too crowded (& not to isolated either). My weird noises woke Yaf & Oj. We sat there for a few minutes, dazed and stoned and not really willing to make a move. We wanted to savour the summer sun for just a little longer.
I’m just daydreaming nightdreaming about my next beach outing now. Saturday’s go-kart day. We’ve been planning this for a few months now (the last time we were to go too many people pulled out at the last minute and the whole thing was cancelled 45 minutes beforehand & the place is actually an hour drive away and had already paid a deposit). Sunday’s Sustainable Living Festival. So can’t really do beach this weekend… BAH! But its’ such lovely weather these few days! Maximum of 24-31 degrees celcius all week!
I thought I’d write a long post for this long awaited come back from my half-a-year-MIA. But its 12.40am and I have to get up in 5 hours and 20 mins so I shall make it a quick one. Well, a lot has happened since my last post so I don’t know where to start. Talking about “come back”, I just got back from Singapore for a 2 week holiday. It was certainly one of the best holidays ever because there were so many things to be merry about. Most importantly the whole family was together.
I’m currently suffering from a semi-serious bout of homesickness. Its so bad I dreamt about it last night and it made me feel nauseous during my sleep. I dreamt that I have a ticket to fly back to Singapore next week. I was panicking so badly cos there is no way my supervisors would be happy with that. Hence I was trying so hard to get the flight dates changed but the airlines kept refusing it. So I felt so sucky: I wanted to go back so badly, people I wanna see again, I have a ticket back, I know I shouldn’t but somehow the circumstances meant I had to go back or forfeit the ticket all together. I’m missing everyone so dearly already.
I really don’t know how everyday of my 2 week break went by so quickly. 5 days of crazi-busy in Hongkong where I spent some quality time with relatives and the remaining of the time I was totally pigged & shopped out. 8 days totally devoted to family time & Lunar New Year celebrations (& preparations) and 2 days for meeting some dear dear friends. Why are holidays never long enough? Never long enough to do what I wanna do, to relax, to spend more time with loved ones, so many things left undone, words unsaid. Somehow every time I’m on holidays away from Melbourne, I feel like I’m removed from reality. Like everything’s a dream and unreal and that when the holidays are over I be thrown back to reality, my “normal” life. Each holiday is so short yet so packed with memorable experiences.
Thankfully I have friends here who know exactly how I feel. Reunion with them tomorrow ;p
I know I said this was gonna be a short entry… so I shall end it here.
Alright, back to work.
